22 Indian Diwali Spl For U

It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.How’s your day if it’s good you’ll need wine to celebrate! If it’s bad you’ll need wine to feel better!Never walk a mile in my shoes. You will just end up drunk, lost and looking for your shoes.If a woman says do what you want. Do not do what want, standstill. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy” Jimmy replied, crying, “Because I heard my dad tell my mom ‘I’m going to eat that pussy when Jimmy goes to school today’”“Babe,. ’ Helen’s question was direct and with a bitchy attitude that Harry had never seen before. He scratched his head in frustration, thinking about what was coming next. ‘No,’ Greta replied. ‘We were just…’ ‘Look, if the truth be known, I fucked Greta. I seduced her ok?’ Harry explained. ‘She just needed some loving. It was personal, not professional on Greta’s behalf. That is what happened.’ ‘So you’re the tenant ripping my boyfriend off?’ Helen asked. ‘A police officer, who should know better. Well I think you’re about to be evicted soon, so be prepared to find somewhere else, because I’m moving in with him.’ Helen pointed directly at Harry. ‘You’re what?’ He asked, totally surprised. Helens eyes kept their focus on Greta. ‘When did you decide this? Things are a bit complicated…’ ‘I’m prepared to move out,’ Greta said. ‘That’s no problem. Infact I can move out right now if you don’t mind being kept under house arrest. Your lover boy is a suspect in a murder case.’ Helen turned to.
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