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My heart and my head fight, and my heart wins. I touch his head and he looks up at me. “I love you, Jenny.” I wipe his tears and rests my hand on his face. He turns and kisses my palm then holds my hand to his face. “What am I going to do with you Douglas?” I say, as tears fall down my face. “Come back to me. Give me another chance to make it right.” I look away and remove my hand from his face. “I can’t.” “Because of Jacob?” he says, with disgust clearly written on his face when he says Jacob’s name. “Yes,” I reply and stare at him. “Why him? Why him out of everyone?” “I don’t know.” Silence. “Do you love him?” he asks. “I don’t know yet,” I reply. “Leave him while you still can,” he says. I stare at him. Open my mouth then close it again, not sure what to say. “Leave him while you don’t love him yet.” “And go back to you, right?” I say. “That’s what you want me to do? Break Jacob’s heart like you broke mine, and go back to you.” He holds my hand. “It’s not too. I rolled down the window and the cool air hit my face as I exhaled a long trail of smoke. Mom recovered as well as could be expected. She knew her husband’s trade and the risks involved. She didn’t have a break down or anything like that, she’s always been a strong woman, but to say she was the same would be a lie. She simply turned into another cynical, middle aged woman, with a mild drinking problem. Something she never would have become. From the beginning, the investigation was a steaming pile. Everyone who ever knew Dad knew the cop’s story was a lie. Dad never carried a gun. Never. The jeweler was an old Jew who lived down the street from us and, at first, reported to the police that some of the diamonds were still missing. Then one day he showed up at the house with a broken arm. ‘Fuck you, Jerry! Fuck you!’ I peeked out from behind a corner as my mother screamed at him in the kitchen. The glow, gone. Mr. Berkowitz spoke closer to a whisper, his voice full of regret, ‘I’m.
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