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Mum and Dad visited as much as possible but this became more limited due to Dad’s angina. Funnily, it was never the right time to visit or be visited. Even when Dad was diagnosed, we couldn’t find the time to visit. Every time someone had had enough and gave up on me, Tommy would pick up the slack. When Mum and Dad became limited, Tommy picked up the slack. It’s scary to think I nearly pushed him away on his last visit.The lines between being asked and being told became very blurred. If he told me to do something and I hesitated, he would make me feel guilty. Soon his instructions were put as requests, knowing that I would comply rather than hurting him.The first time we ‘entertained’ one of his friends; it was put as a request. Although I didn't like the idea of breaking my marriage vows, his friend was more gentle and the actual experience was better. This didn't stop the feelings of guilt every time I was 'asked'.Next day he asked how I felt about it.“I was confused, why would you. It was small, but it was all theirs. Up until then, they had shared a bed in a one-bedroom apartment. He loved being hugged in bed by mom, especially during his junior high years. Having his own room changed things for him. It provided him with the privacy to lock the door and jack off with thoughts of his mom, but he could no longer sleep in the same bed as her.Eventually, Joey graduated from high school and was offered a football scholarship at a school that was on the other side of the country. At 6'2” and weighing 220, he played tight-end quite well. At first, he expressed concern for his mother if he moved away, wondering if she was going to be okay with him so far. As much as she was going to miss him, Janice encouraged him to accept the scholarship. With her salary, she was barely able to cover the mortgage and was never able save up for his college. On the day he left, there were a lot tears. Her parents, sisters and cousins all came to his going away party the.
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