The Morning Moods Episode 2

'Tis incredible what trifling consolations the human mind will seize in its greatest afflictions. The assurance of nothing more than a bed to lie on that night, calmed my agonies; and being asham'd to acquaint the mistress of the inn that I had no friends to apply to in town, I proposed to myself to proceed, the very next morning, to an intelligence-office, to which I was furnish'd with written directions, on the back of a ballad of Esther's giving me. There I counted on getting information of any place that such a country-girl as I might be fit for, and where I could get into any sort of being, before my little stock should be consumed; and as to a character, Esther had often repeated to me, that I might depend on her managing me one; nor, however affected I was at her leaving me thus, did I entirely cease to rely on her, as I began to think, good-naturedly, that her procedure was all in course, and that it was only my ignorance of life that had made me take it in the light I at. Coffee first then a look at the shops. I collect Capodimonte porcelain, particularly female figures, so I like looking at the shops there. Both Gianna and Lena seemed inordinately happy together and I was pleased that the two women I loved got on so well. We had lunch in one of my favourite restaurants, just on a corner, where we could be quite private and, afterwards I raised the subject of a ring. I smiled at Lena and took Gianna’s hand in mine. ‘Arna,’ I said. I had taken to calling her that all the time. A sort of way of showing how much I cared for her. ‘Arna, I want to buy us each a ring.’ She looked shocked and surprised. ‘Darling,’ I said, ‘I can’t marry you but I want you to wear my ring and I’ll wear yours. When you’re on your own at home you’ll know I’m thinking of you.’ She looked a bit unsure. ‘Please.’ I said, ‘wear it on your right hand ring finger. You haven’t any rings on that hand.’ I was in earnest now. For some reason this meant a lot to me — was it a desire to.
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