Indian Aunty Milk Tankers

I got on the phone, called Brewster McRiley, and told him to shag ass to Westminster; we were going to need all the big guns this time around. We brought Marty up and called in the various heads of the Republican Committees in the three counties I represented. For some extra flavor, we had Marilyn and Cheryl Dedrick, my Field Representative present. If anybody had a feel for the pulse of the Maryland Ninth, it was the person who spent her time sorting out the problems of the locals. Theoretically she was to keep her time separate from the campaign, as was Marty, as government employees. On the other hand, if I lost and Steve Rymark took over, they wouldn’t be government employees for long. They had a stake in this, too.We agreed that we had to do the usual things, opposition research and extensive polling, as well as research into what the voters were thinking about me. In this regard Cheryl had a few comments, though, which were unpleasant but not unexpected. “The letters we are. What did Fap say when he saw a dog licking his balls?... Thanks.Why does a dog lick his own balls?Because he can.A rich old lady’s birthday is coming up... Her three sons want to impress her. They each go out in search for the perfect gift.The first one, Frank, finds and buys a Swiss Chalet up on a mountain top. He sends her pictures and descriptions in her birthday card.The second son, George, orders her a brand new multi-million dollar Lamborghini with all the bells and whistles to be delivered on her birthday. He sends concept pictures and descriptions in her birthday card.The third son, Jack, wants something completely unique and searches the world for the best parrot available. He finds one that has a 10,000 word vocabulary in multiple languages and arranges for it to be delivered on her birthday.They all show up on her birthday and are greeted at the door. She looks at them and shakes her head. Frank, I don’t know what you were thinking. With my old bones why would I want to be.
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