Lifting the earpiece of an old fashioned candlestick telephone, the obsequious manservant whispered across the empty lobby: "I'll ring them again, Sir Desmond. I do apologize."Five minutes later and much to the relief of the normally unflappable Noakes, a black London taxi pulled to a halt outside the Wanderers Club and the irrascible baronet descended the granite steps to the pavement. The taxi's driver, who didn't even show the courtesy to get out of his cab to open the door for his passenger, called through the opened window: "Where to, guv?"As Anstruther fed himself clumisly into the rear compartment, he snapped: "Victoria Station. Quick as you can. I've got a train to catch!" What time does it go, guv?" 4.35. And if I miss it I'll have two bally hours to wait. So step on it!"The crusty baronet was only half-seated when the taxi lurched forward, causing him to be thrown across the back seat in a heap. "Traffic's terrible today, mate. Reckon you might not catch your train." 'Guv'. Fuck. There was no way I could walk back into that pub now coz now he knew how I really felt about him. I felt sick. I just wanted to die. Liam, the lad who I’d been in love with since school, Liam who I’d thought about non-stop every day and night, Liam…he knew how I felt about him. Oh fuck. Right, fuck it. There was nothing I could do about it. He knew how I felt and I can’t help the way I feel. I was in love with him and that was that. Really, I should just walk back in the pub, sit down and say to him, “It’s true. I’m in love with you.” But I couldn’t. No way couldn’t. No way could I do that. There was no way I could ever look at him again, now that he knew how I felt. I took a deep breath. Right, just walk out of the toilets and walk out of the pub. I’d probably never see him again anyway. It’s the only way to deal with the situation. I’ve gotta get him out of my life. Forget about him. Forget that he was ever in my life. Right. Ok. I took a deep breath and I was just gonna walk.
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