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Kissed at his neck with big sloppy kisses and began to search his jacket. She knew somehow of the sugar cubes he kept there and it wasn’t long before he was back on his feet and she was eating them from his hand. He led her slowly, on a tortuously circuitous route back to the truck and trailer. Tracing and retracing, leading and caressing, the patter never changing. She whinnied and bolted, he stopped and waited. She came back. He walked with her guiding gently, the patter never changing, loving and sweet, caring and low. She wheeled on him, bucking, slamming her hooves into him. The ground hurt. The ground doesn’t usually hurt. Odd bits of thoughts flitted through his head and he waited. He couldn’t see her and his patter hurt. He was cold and the night was long, but the patter never changed, even husky with pain. He waited, eventually sitting slowly with the sun. Was that her? His head spun. Even he wasn’t sure what his patter meant anymore, but the sound carried his heart to her.. Of course, I never thought I would have an affair either. It was just a long fling I ended months ago. I was so careful! Did he find out? How did he find out? Everything is going through lawyers now. It was like I was living word for word the "18 things no one tells you about Divorce" from ivillage, as my husband, my soul mate, the man I wished to spend the rest of my days with will not even speak with me.Tazz once wrote "When it is time to pay the piper-the coin of the realm is expensive."Informing the kids was the hardest moment of my life. I wanted us to tell the kids, share the news together as a united front. It was a trial to just get my husband to agree to be there, but only so I would not try to demean or shift the burden onto him. I know it was my own mess to clean up. The children blamed themselves first, which was the hardest. Then they blamed me outright. I was not prepared for anger, tears, screaming, then silence. My youngest a preschooler, did not get it right away..
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