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If we need anything we’ll worry about it there. I want to be away from anything that reminds me of me, and anything that reminds me of any negatives, while we deal with setting up the next ... What did you say, seventy years?” She nodded, then smiled, and kissed me again, while the water ran over both of us. She grabbed a washrag and my bar of soap and went to town. She did to me what I did to her. Handing me the rag, she told me to wash my face and ears, then got a squirt of my white and blue bottle of shampoo and went to work. She had a point. It feels a heck of a lot better when someone else does it. “What you said last night, Jillian, about shampooing. If it felt this good? I understand. It’s nice when someone you love washes your hair.”I reached in front of me and held her hips while she worked my hair and when she was done, she guided me into the spray and patted me on the butt. “Rinse, my prince! OK, not funny. What’s up for the day? Packing for your little jaunt.”“OUR little. What will my mother think if I’m going to a shrink?” “She won’t need to know and a psychologist or psychiatrist will keep everything confidential just like I will,” I tried to explain.“No,” he said firmly, “I’ve already told you more than I intended. I just wanted to tell someone…” He stood and bolted from the room.I could not let it go there. I spoke to the psychologist to whom I should have referred Fred and he agreed that the boy needed professional counseling. He assisted me in filling out a “blind referral.” That is, no one, neither school administration nor parent would be involved.I thought that I had done the right thing. In my mind, Fred was calling out for help and I had provided the best available. However, it did not work out. The day that Fred received notice of his appointment with the psychologist he walked out of school and disappeared. Since he was already eighteen years old he was not considered a runaway but he was designated by the authorities as a.
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