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"I'll show you where I wanted to be kissed," she said with a leer as she slid her shorts to the side. "Here's my cell number. If you get lonely this week, give Britta a call. We'll work something out."She dropped me off and I sat on the beach outside the hotel, hoping my erection would dwindle so I didn't have to tuck it into the elastic of my shorts band.My cell phone started ringing as I waited."Is it OK if I come down?" Bailey asked.I looked up to the seventh floor and saw her sitting on the balcony.I waved and told her I didn't mind at all.At least Jay Jr. was at half mast by the time she got there. He wouldn't stay that way for long, though. Bailey looked beautiful with her long, tanned legs flowing out of the bottoms of her shorts. She had on a tight T-shirt over her bikini top.When she bent over in front of me to drop her shorts, my eyes about popped out their sockets and Jay Jr. was back to business."Why you dirty old man," Bailey said. "An innocent girl gets ready for the. “It’s my clitoris, Lance,” Carlotta said. “I don’t need a doctor. Surely you know that all women have them,” “Don’t call me Shirley,” I said. “Damn you and your movies,” Carlotta said. “What have movies got to do with this?” I said. “Goddamn it Lance,” she said. “I’m looking for a man who can find this nubbin, this pearl, this little man in a boat.” She pointed to the item she was referring to once again. “That’s what I’m hiring you for. Capisce?” 3 Now that I finally understood what she wanted I got right to work. The first thing I did was take out a classified ad. “Help us find the missing clitoris.” It read. “Desperate beautiful woman. Big reward. Apply at Lance Armstrong Detective Agency, 211 South 4th.” When I got to my office on the morning the ad came out I found a long line of men stretching around the block. There must have been hundreds of them. Carlotta was waiting by the door. She was smiling. “There must be someone in among this crowd who knows how to find a.
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