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Nothing! There was nothing there, no quinny, just nothing. I must have looked devastated because she asked what the matter was. We got talking and I would her about being a human being. She could not stop laughing when I showed her my proud to be British. ‘That looks so funny and awkward, you will have to mind you don’t get it scratched on the pine leaves.’ I said my human name was Charlie and what my master had done to me. I also told her what it was for, my down under that is, and again she enveloped into fits of laughter, especially when I told her a guy puts it into a girl to have sex. In order to reproduce our species, but not necessarily just for that. It was becoming complicated. So I settled for that is just how we were made, and I guess gnomes and Christmas fairies were different because they had no need to reproduce ‘What is sex?’ Poor girl, she knew nothing. Then I guess she had no need to because she had no apparatus. I changed the subject knowing I was not going to solve. My father couldn't care less for football and didn't even pretend to be interested in my love for it. He continued to be an outdoor sportsman and I became an athlete and our lives went in different directions. In an ironic twist it would be the punishing gridiron of football that would turn me into a Momma's boy.My mother, Amisha, was born in the Tamil region of India. As a teenager she was sent to England for finishing school, sort of the British version of high school for girls. From there she came to the States for college. It was while at college that she met and married Big John. Even after living in the United States for over 25 years she still has the clipped British accent and regal, elegant manner. Most people are surprised to learn she is 47 for she is still quite attractive, and I'm very aware that many of my friends and teammates have a crush on her. In the past, some have had the audacity to tell me she's a MILF however after a few scuffles over this they now just whisper.
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