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I worked to get my eyes open. I saw an angel. I was dead. I looked again. I knew that angel’s name, it was Erin. ‘Hi! Where am I?’ She jumped up and ran away. Damn she really hated me. People came from all over and poked at me and stuck me with sharp things that hurt. I just wanted to sleep, they wouldn’t let me. I thought I saw her again but it wasn’t her. I know I called her a bunch of times but she never came. I thought she was holding my hand again and it felt like her tears were dropping hot on my hand. I called her name again and told her I loved her and that I would see her in heaven if I ever got there again. I thought I heard her crying but wasn’t sure. Then I woke up. No one was there. I felt weak but not too bad. I tried to sit up. But I was strapped down. I had needles and tubes in my wrists and some damned thing was blowing air up my nose. I yelled ‘Hey, Somebody help me.’ Nurses and doctors came and poked me and did all that stuff. I just wanted to go fishing. I. " Instead of accusing me of having someone one else, s cock why don't you get up right now and take me to bed and make love to me like you used to?" by now I was crying, he had broken me down like never before.That night as I laid in bed I thought about what I'd done on the trip to Chicago and found I had no regrets and no guilt. I decided It was over between Cliff and I, the only thing that could save us now was him going to counseling and getting his head straight again but I was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. I couldn't just up and leave him, or he would end up out on the street. I didn't hate him, but I knew I had to do something, or it would turn to that and I didn't want that to happen.I decided to not argue with Cliff anymore about anything, if he chose to ignore me then I would do the same. It was six weeks later that Sid called me into his office and told me we were leaving for St Louis Monday morning and would be there at least three days maybe longer. I wanted to.
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