Joya

It was like,we just woke up one day, and the next thing we knew we started changingand we had to dress up. I can seriously tell you it wasn't by choice,and at first it was definitely forced on us. You really just had to bethere to see how it all happened... Basically, James and Charelle justshowed up one day and laid down the new law. We're kind of getting usedto being this way now though... But I'm not gay or anything (I guess nowthis last statement was a bald-faced lie !!)" Can I ask you," she said, "Do you still feel like a guy underneath?" Of course," I said, "I'm still a guy. Honestly, underneath this all,I'm still a guy." Really," she said, now starting to weep, "I'm so glad my little man isstill a guy." Yeah, this is just temporary, still, I think," I reassured her. "We'sjust be livin' as black girls right now. It's actually happened beforeand other guys have done it." I just feel so bad with all that has happened to you." Thanks mom," I said, "But listen, I have to. " She qualified, her voice uncharacteristically soft, but this was the Margaret who had rescued me twice now, thrice if you included my first visit.I agreed at once and felt a happiness that swept away the doubts ruminations and agonizing that had obsessed me since I came back to town on Sunday night. I'd had to at long last admit that by slow degrees, and even with some reluctance, I was falling in love with Margaret. But, my dilemma was that by loving her I would be betraying Sarah, and my memory of her as the one true and pure love of my life. I had to think this through properly, so I put the two women side-by-side in my head, and I found that I was glancing back to Sarah, but reaching out more and more avidly for her rival. Sarah brought on my rose-tinted spectacles, where Margaret was present reality. I could still foresee a future with either of them, so I was far from sure on many levels, and I didn't feel the champagne dizziness of undiluted romance that I'd had with my.
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