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I had no idea how many guys would do what JR had done, but I'd have bet it was damn few.If JR had intended for me to make sure the relationship between Ted and I was only one of friendship, he had succeeded. Ted was my friend, but no more. I had no feelings for him other than that. I began thinking if I would feel different if it had only been Ted and me in the bed. How would I feel if we had made out more, more foreplay? Would it be any better?My sexual adventures had been fun. Of all the things I did, excluding Kimmy and JR, having sex with Ted was the best. While there wasn't a strong emotional connection now, there once was one between Ted and me—at least for me there was. The next question I had for myself was of all the things I had done, which ones would I like to repeat. Kimmy won hands down in my mind. Just thinking about it made me feel tingly. That led to another question, one I was having trouble with. What would I do if Kimmy wanted to fool around again without JR being. Beauty was fickle, the slender frame now skeletal, ravaged by years of starvation and her skin sagged on her dejectedly, the lines that burrowed into her brow premature. Rumpled clothing, the kind that one bought in the attempt to feign wealth, in cut that nearly draped beautifully, save for the cheap cloth and subtle imperfection, clung in silent witness to the sleepless night. The nearly exquisite exterior that covered up the slowly decaying innards, cloyingly sweet perfume that nearly covered the reek of moldering life and hope, she was rotting from the inside out.She might have been different, perhaps the softly rounded mother with a slightly frazzled air of disarray to hair, clothing, life. Or the crisp sharp business woman, with the staccato click of unforgiving heels beneath prim suit as she wandered down corporate marbled floors. Who is to blame really when you find yourself lost in the middle of your own life, years of aimless wandering, the loathing to commit to even the.
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