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............however my balls were full and my cum was substantial.As I ring the bell my cock twitches for you.............and as the door opens my heart always skips to see what you wear..............Today you wear an A line skirt with hosiery which is tan.Your glasses are as normal although your hair today is tied up giving you a srtict look. I like it.As I survey you the shoes are out of context with low heels and flat.......We smile and you invite me into your study.We sit down as we did only a short time before. You tell me my concentration was not at the level you would expect before...........Your hand falls onto my thigh and you begin to stroke my hard thigh............."You must concentrate" you say.I begin to play.....................You pinch my thigh............I start again.Dah,dah,dah,You pinch my thigh again..............I try again.....................and then grab the back of your head and kiss you..................My hand on your thigh.I pull you towards me with my. I ache to be with you. But I need to give you up.I've heard that if you really love someone, then you want what is best for them. And I want what's best for you, my love. Therefore, I will stay away. I do not ever want to be responsible for you hurting yourself. I could not live with myself if that happened again. You will always be in my heart, and I will treasure our night together until the day I die.Farewell my love,LucyI cried until I felt wrung out. I was so selfish that I had never even considered how Lucy would feel finding me dead in her bathtub. I could feel her pain through her words. I had cut her more deeply than I had cut into my own wrist. I had thought it was the easy way out. And maybe it was for me, but not for Lucy and my mother.I had to spend the weekend in the hospital. Despite all the nurses, doctors, and counselors, I had never felt more alone in my life. I read and reread Lucy's letter while my mother's words echoed in my head. Was she gay? Is that what she.
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