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Now I find myself stumbling for words and quick responses to his questions. I doubt my answers, hoping they are what he is looking for when I used to just know. Just last night he said, “You’re too emotional, relax slut” but those words alone were enough to send a fresh stream of tears down my cheeks. He knows me, inside and out, through and through, as if no time has passed between us and I ache to belong to him again. In my heart, I know that I never stopped belonging to him … that even in his absence, he was here with me. But I still long to proudly wear his steel again, to have that something that I can reach up and grab a hold of and be reminded in some small, self-absorbed way of being able to physically be reassured that I am, indeed, his. I think of the things he has noticed and pointed out to me already, small changes that I hadn’t really noticed myself but once pointed out, embarrassed because it was true. Speaking first person comes to mind quickly because even writing in. She coyly admitted that if I had seemed interested but too shy or cautious to make a pass at her, she had planned to stage a car ‘breakdown’ that would lead to the offer of over-night accommodation, and then make herself even more flagrantly seducible!So Emma unpacked in the second largest double-bedroom, after which we took a long playful bath and shower together in my vast and truly well-equipped main bathroom – it was one area where I had stinted myself for nothing – and then we made ourselves a dinner of tuna, chopped peppers, sun-dried tomatoes and sweetcorn on pasta with a mild lime chilli sauce, followed by a tossed green salad, and washed down with several glasses of fine Burgundy red wine. After that, I took her by the hand and led her up to my own room, where we slowly disrobed each other and began a long night of mutual pleasure with a languorous, slow-building 69. The weekend turned into a week, and – well – we’ve been living together ever since, for nearly two years.
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