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THE URGE. Mary hoped Joseph would take it well.Not lay too much Catholic guilt on her. THE URGE wasimpervious to criticism, but Mary was not. Why do I havethese thoughts, she asked herself sadly? Why?As Beth drifted off, Mary closed the book and crept outof the bedroom. In the bathroom, she examined herself inthe large half mirror. Mary Savior, wife and mother atthirty-six years. The Classic Soccer Mom. Had theminivan and suburban house. Identified herself first asa mother, second as a wife, third as a lover. She stood five foot nothing in her stocking flat feet;weighed between 125 pounds when she was exercising to140 pounds when her period was in and she guiltilyindulged herself in forbidden sweets and happened to beoff her exercise regimen. Shoulder-length blond hair andlight blue eyes.Mary would describe herself as average. Just average.Two B cup breasts after the four c******n; somewhatsaggy with traceries of light blue veins; a stomach thatpooched out slightly no matter which. He sat back in his chair with a magazine to write against. “I want you to write out your feelings, or thoughts, about why you are here, or why you are still here. I am going to do the same thing, only mine will be of my feeling about you being here. We can share them and talk it out. Mine is not going to take much, I already know. You take whatever time you need. Maybe this way it will be easier to express. Remember, this is to express our thoughts, so be open and honest. We can talk out the meaning it might have. Don’t try to anticipate what I might like or what I might not like.”I found it was easier. What I couldn’t get to come out to him verbally, just poured out through the pencil onto the paper. I filled the front and turned it over to continue on the back. I looked up and saw him watching me, sipping his drink. I looked at the paper on the arm rest, then up at him, and back at the paper. There was only a line of writing on it. I thought about that and skimmed my own writing,.
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