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There was a large round of applause and then he was able to sit down again.The guy sitting next to him whispered, “Hey, nice going. I was happy with a 2.8.”“Thanks,” replied Ed. He looked at the guy wondering how someone could actually spend four years in college and graduate happy with a 2.8 GPA.He sat back and listened to what the Provost of the University was saying. As he listened to the Provost describe the Outstanding Student Of The Graduating Class, he was not impressed. Everything they were saying about this guy, he had done and didn’t think anything special about it. When the Provost started talking about graduating in three years and with a perfect GPA, it began to dawn on him that they were maybe talking about him.He heard the guy next to him swear, “Shit, that guy must be superman.”When Ed heard his name called he stood up in time to hear the Provost ask him to approach the podium. Ed made his way there, happy that they had placed him on an aisle seat. That’s when he. ’She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she.
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