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There was clearly anger in my voice. Anger that Nancy might actually be taken from me. Anger that there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. Anger mixed with my sadness as I sat there staring down at my plate.After a while Nancy got up from the table to clear the plates. I had barely eaten a thing."You done with that?" Nancy asked as she reached for my plate."Yeah, just not hungry." I answered back mindlessly.I watched my wife as she cleared the table. She seemed to move so slowly these days, never really smiling. Her eyes seemed so blank, without a trace of joy. The cancer had taken a lot out of her. She bore little resemblance to the woman I fell in love with just over 25 years ago. In fact, I barely recognized her these days.I sat at the table silently for a few more minutes before getting up. I had to get ready for my night job. I had taken a night job as a security guard several years ago when the kids started college. Our youngest had graduated just over a year ago, but I. "I used to fix an elaborate breakfast for my husband on Sunday mornings. I thought I'd practice my cooking since you're here to help me eat it. I hope you're hungry." After the Chinese last night I'm as hungry as a bear." Good, everything will be ready in a couple of minutes."True to her word Millie laid out a feast. She set a plate with a tall stack of pancakes in front of me followed by another plate with eggs, sausage, and hash brown potatoes. I ate and listened as she chattered away about whatever crossed her mind. At appropriate intervals I would make a comment or an assenting uh-huh to her stream of conversation. The food was delicious and Millie's humorous chatter added the finishing touches to a perfect morning.I couldn't help comparing her to my dour grandmother. Millie was full of life and fun while my grandmother lived in a world of "Thou shalt nots." Two days ago I was thinking about how to try the patience of my sitter and now I was hanging on to her every word. If I.
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