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I don’t deny that I am human. I do have opinions and beliefs as to those behaviors that are better suited to noble and heroic labels – compassion, integrity, self deprecation, and so forth – and I have, in fact, come to believe that I have made great strides in this regard – but I cannot get past the feeling that those strides are, of necessity, merely vanity. I know that I think of myself as heroic, that my behavior has become, in my opinion, both selfless and compassionate. But that, it seems to me, is as much the luck of the draw as anything. In earlier days, I often wondered how I would react if the woman in my life (especially the young lady I was involved with for seven years) fell victim to some truly damaging disease. Would I be motivated – by love or self sacrifice or any other reason – to become a care giver? Or would I determine my plans for my life did not involve being limited in that way, and move on? And if this happened, would people have a negative opinion of me?. I put my hand on his and smiled and said I’d see what I could do. Then I left.The next day, or the next repetition of the same day at least, I returned. The conversation repeated itself. He told me about training to be a pilot but failed a test and became a mechanic instead. He spent a lot of time just moving stuff on and off planes. At 2:16 the nurse came in on schedule. The meal repeated itself. I left promising to bring him an Esquire and maybe a Playboy.Repetition three. “I should leave soon. You’ll have lunch soon right, I saw the trolley as I came in.”“Yeah, quarter after every day. I think I’m at the end of the route.”“Who brings the meals? A nurse?”“Nah, I don’t know what they’re called but lunch guys, usually Phil.” 2:16. “Hey, Phil.” Merris walked in. “Hey, D-Man!” He was jovial. “I see you have a new girlfriend.” He winked at me to let me know I was meant to be in on the joke.“Beating them off with a stick.” He gestured to all the tubes. They fist-bumped in a gesture of.
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