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“So why did your mum and dad separate?” I asked, “And do you miss him?” I continued trying to find out what went wrong although to be honest I was glad of the situation as life would be so different if he was living next door.Milly continued her story telling me that her mum and dad hadn’t been the same since she started the personal training and although he could never keep it in his own pants he was very jealous of her mum coming in such close contact with her clients so about 6 months ago after a string of dodgy affairs he found a younger girlfriend deciding that his marriage was over, the atmosphere changed and the only way out was for them to move out hence I now have some new neighbours. she did tell me she missed him but having made friends with me she found she doesn’t miss him as much as she thought she would, she confided that her father was a ‘selfish egotistic arsehole’ and at the end of the day she would always favour her mother.This led me nicely on to asking about her. “How old are you?”“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I am the Brown Jesus!”“I was born in July 1983 so you're six months older than me.”“Wow. You have really nice tits you know. How come they're not all saggy like my mum's tits?”“Maybe because I haven't had k**s yet?! Dickhead!”Initially he told me he was from Kabul but that turned out to be a joke. In reality he was born in Leicester making him twice as English as me.Two weeks later and he was staying at my flat, he was still with Scarlett (just about) and we hadn't fucked although we had kissed a lot. I was getting impatient. “How about I give you a back massage?” I said.“I've got some coconut oil in the kitchen, I could melt it so it's body temperature and then rub it in to your poor tired body, how about that?”“Ooh! That would be amazing! Please don't stick anything up my bumhole though, I have issues.”I would like to point out at this juncture that we were both very, very drunk.I started to massage the warm oil into his back.
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