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” She shouted at me and was about to leave. I said, “I am your son so that’s your problem right.”Then one day, dad and sister had to leave home to go to another town for sister’s admission in college. I was alone at home with my mom. I was roaming around her all day but had no luck as she ignored me.I started talking to her mom, “Why you want to get attention from others?” She said, “Don’t talk about that topic again and again.” I said, “If you let me know then I will help you get other’s attention. She was worried but curious to know how?Then she asked me, “How?” I said, “You need to change the way you dress.” She again asked me, “How?”I told her to bring any one of her favorite sarees and I would teach her. She bought a yellow saree and black blouse.I asked, “What about bra and panty?” She said she has only a white bra and with the black blouse, it wouldn’t match, so she does not wear the bra and usually covers with saree only.I said, “Then we have to go and buy some bra and panties. He wasn't a good looking man but neither were my TV heroes in those westerns. He looked real, not pretty. A Real Man.I was 27 or 28 ... maybe 29... its hard to remember all the details clearly now... when Maxx dumped him. I know I was just starting to feel comfortable with my new tits and had had quite a bit of sexual experience by then. Hahaha. I thought I was ready for a man like Adam. Maxx said she dumped him because she didn't want to end up an Army Widow or God forbid, even worse an Army Wife living the Army Life. I suspect she had real feelings for him though and had become terrified one day he wouldn't return from overseas alive. Even so, I thought that was a selfish and narrow attitude. I had always understood the concept of a man doing what he had to do, of standing up for something and believing in something. I just never saw much of it.I thought about that a lot in my fantasies about Adam. About how I would conduct myself with quiet dignity, all in black, at his funeral..
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