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The drugs left me feeling somewhat hazy and detached from much of what was happening around me. I think Ginny was being put off by my lack of expression, and by the delay in me answering her questions. She claimed I wasn't 'really there', whatever that was supposed to mean.I could tell my mental focus wasn't all that it should be, but I knew I needed to continue taking the medicine if I didn't want a reoccurrence of the kind of episode that had first caused me to be committed to the hospital. I liked to just sit in my chair and watch my young daughter playing on the floor. She is such a beautiful little girl. I really loved her a lot. It had been painful when Ginny had made me promise not to pick Kaitlyn up. She said it was because my medicine made me a little bit clumsy. I knew she was afraid I'd injure Kaitlyn if I somehow was to drop her or something.I had come home to a very tense situation. Because of my hospitalization, my own income had been next to nothing. I didn't really. To prove to them that I wasn't a pervert, I told them I would have sex and be faithfull to their daughter until she was 18.Even after I told her that, my girlfriend wanted to have sex anyway. She felt ready and wanted it to happen.I told her I respected her, and that it would prove my love to her and to her parents. For 3 years, I oftenstole her worn panty or bra and masturbated in them, which actualy made me feel more like a pervert then actual dating a young girl. Near her 18th birthday, we had a talk, in which she told me it would be nice to do it "old school"and wait for the marriage. While I wanted to fuck her brainless, I still agree to her demand. The night prior her 18thbirthday, her mother winked at me and said:"So, my little girl is gonna be a woman tomorow?" No,I answered, she wanna wait for marriage" Do you ?" Hell, I would fuck the hell out of her..."Realising who I was talking to, I apologized, shamefull, and left.The morning after, I received a call: it was Nina telling.
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