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I want to know whether I am doing well or not. I need to make 'my man' happy and I need to know I am succeeding. I want to truly and actually adore him. For he 'would' be mine in my submission, just as I would be 'his' in his Domination. I want to trust him implicitly and I want to allow myself to be what my Dominant wants, while at the same time be taken to where, in his heart, he knows I want to go.I want to be able to submit myself to his will. I want to be free to do as he asks. I've thought about this a lot, and not just while masturbating. Most of what I see as 'humbling myself before my Dominant', is desirable to me.Smiles.I want to be his. And I want to be considered. I want communication and I want my sexuality to be expanded for his and my benefit. I want to rely on him and I don't want to feel guilty about it. Not because I am 'easily led', but because I want a genuine partnership.I want to find the safety and the structure within which I can be free. Free to be me. Free. He asked me my phone number but I told him it would be best if we only messaged each other on messenger. I couldn't have his number showing up on my cell phone bill. Jonathan sometimes looks over the bill. Saturday evening Jonathan and I were watching a movie and relaxing on the couch when I noticed my phone was blinking , it was a text message. I ignored it untill Jonathan got up to go to the rest room. I quickly opened the text and it was Jason's address and a short note saying looking forward to meeting you. That night as we were about to go to bed Jonathan told me he wanted to go over to his dad's house tomorrow to work on his four wheel drive. I told him that was OK that I was going to one of my photographers to discuss an idea I had for shoot. He said OK. Sunday morning after Jonathan had left I texted Jason and told him I wanted to come up to his place to just hang out and see if we had anything in common. He said yes he liked that idea. Well I put his address in my phone on.
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