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Before I can even reply she's picking me overto have a good look. "You've dyed your hair, and lost a lot of weight. I can't believe mychubby little boy has changed so much on me." I met someone in California whose helped me a lot with that. He even convinced me to gothrough the surgery."Mom giggles, "I thought your nose looked different."Now comes the hard part. It'd be easy for me to leave things as they are between us, but I needto ask mom these questions. "Mom," my throat feels so dry, "Why did you side with him? Youknow he's wrong about this, and you guys really abandoned me." I was never against you Sam, and you were the one who left us. Don't try to push this ontome. You're the one?" Nothing's changed! Why did you even call me back if that's your opinion?" Naturally I don'tmean to yell at her, but she's still hashing out the same old excuses. Why is it so hard forher to admit the truth? Has my dad really fooled her so well into believing he was right?"Don't you talk to. " You're not sick," Mom said adamantly. "You're a wonderful human beingand you're going to be a terrific woman. I'm already so proud of youthat I don't know where to begin." No, its not like that and you know it, and I know it and Dr. Girardiknows it. I'm a pervert and a sexual deviant and I'm letting this stuffrun my life. So don't act like its not true, and anyway, you're nobetter either. You said so you're self. We're both sick." Then what are we doing here, Sweetheart? It's not too late to put astop to this. We can check out of our room and take a cab to the airportright now. We can make it home in time for dinner."I shook my head and stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray. "You know Ican't do that, Mom, because you know I need to do this. I need to be awoman- an older woman like you." I know you do, Honey. But you don't have to do it today, do you?" Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how long I've wished for this tohappen? You might be sick and weird but I love.
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