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That there wouldn't be too many times when I would ever again be able to stand up to her. It occurred to me that I would only have one chance and that would be to escape seven days hence. But between then and now, I had to make sure I didn't lose myself to her. Because I knew she was crazy. But I also felt in my heart that I loved her, if only a little. And then she was raining blows on me and screaming. "Don't you ever swear at me again! I told you we could do this the easy way or the hard way, but we're going to do it. I need to be number one. Now count and repeat. And tell me you love me." Mary made it to fifty, as did I. And in the blending of the pain, when it was done, I knew I was very close to the point of no return. I would obey her. And I did love her. Even though I knew she might very well be insane.Chapter 3Sometime during my spanking, Charlene had let me go and started cutting my hair. I didn't even notice. It took me a while to notice that Mary had gotten to fifty and. As it was, my grief for my parents had somehow done what those first weeks of mental and physical abuse hadn’t been able to do, it had turned me into a non-feeling shadow of myself that could be easily controlled and directed, like a living, breathing doll. Was it a blessing or a curse to be back in the land of the living? I really couldn’t say… – – – – – ‘Crap,’ I whispered as I scanned the long list of unread e-mails on my phone ‘why do I keep getting this spiritual guidance, yoga, meditation crap in my mailbox?’ I had started getting annoyingly many spam e-mails, all with the same ‘find your true self/inner beauty’ message. I wondered what page I had visited or what e-mail list service I had signed up for that had my mailbox exploding with unwanted messages. I wasn’t even interested in that new age stuff. I sat in the beauty parlor, muttering to myself and tapping on my phone, waiting for my once-a-week overhaul. When I had walked in just a few minutes earlier I had been informed.
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