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“I’m okay with it, then,” Thomas concurred at this point, “though it’s a bit of a jolt for sure, and the neighbors will naturally get curious.”“It’s a dream come true, living with you, even at such a price, and as you said, I do have serious health risks from living alone in my golden years,” Jacob conceded, “If Ruth objects, she won’t for long, because I’m going to simply hand the house over to her and Matt. But in my name still, until the day that I die. That way, if Matt ever mistreats her, he won’t have a chance to keep the place. It’s my Ruthie’s security, if you will, her hedge in case the husband isn’t worthy of her.”“Is Ruth married already to Matt?” Thomas asked Jacob quite curiously, more as a neighbor and friend, almost as if he hadn’t bedded the man’s daughter and the man hadn’t had (and wasn’t still having) an affair with his wife.“Not yet, but I hope that she’s up to you attending, along with Marilyn, and maybe Claudia and John, if they like. Well, how about it?” Jacob. And God drank the beer and it was good.And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good.
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