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In some perverse way my depression lifted slightly now I had a plan to do away with myself. You could accuse me of having double standards, for I had been most disparaging of Sergeant Neddy Claypole blowing his brains out in Bosnia, yet here I am planning to end my own life, although not in a similar manner as his. It wasn't his suicide which incensed me, but rather his total disregard for the people who had to clear up the mess he left behind, and I'm not just talking of the brain and blood spattered platoon office but also the amount of paper work his unexpected death caused. I was determined to go out quietly and cleanly, leaving all my paperwork in good order.To this end I began to write my will, which was when it struck me I had no relatives to leave my few belongs to, nor to mourn my passing. My mother, father, and sister were dead, and my brother went to Australia in 1969 and had not been heard of since. He too could be dead, or on permanent walkabout.As far as I knew none of. Isliye unke hisse mai sirf dard hi aata hai, halanki yeh bhi sach hai ki ek baar jab ki ko gaand dene ki aadat pad jaye toh who bina diye nahi reh sakti.use choot ke bajaye gaand hi bahne lagti hai.Par masla rinki ko raajji karne ka tha. mai janta tha ki agar mai usse pyar se kahuga toh ek baar woh mana nahi karegi par ek baar main kahan baat banne wali thi. Jab tak uski gaand ka ched poora rawa nahi ho jata tab tak use woh enjoy nahi kar payegi aur phir mai use majboor[ force ] bhi nahi karna cahta tha.isliye maine ek plan banaya . maine the kiya ki uski gaand main apne lund se maarne ke bajaye pehle apni ungli ya ki asi hi cheez se maarunga . jab woh thoda relax hokar lene lagagi yani enjoy karna seekh jate gi toh mai use apna lund doonga. Is plan mai use khone ka khatra bhi nahi tha. Maine apne plan ke anusar ni kaam karna shuru kar diya. Jab hum mile yani sambhog kar rahe the toh maine apne ungli uski gaand kar uper se hi ghumni huru kar di. Maine use kuch nahi kaha ,bas apni.
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