The association between Pavlov’s dog, the tuning fork and food proved a more perverse aspect of the psyche – cruel anticipation of the little chime. Even more perverse since your chime only means fresh pain, which, by this time, is not even half-reward for the almost broken creature at your whim. Your voice brings constant fear, fresh tears and a primal, stupid lust. The only real marker of reality, the last vestige of the mind’s connection to the body of the creature, now almost abjectly object, animal, property is in her movement. There is no part of my body that is not physically, palpably hurting, aching dully or stinging with pain without reprieve. The endorphins have long worn off – a frustrating paradox. What is now pain that I want direly to escape was precisely what was integral in bringing about the incredible rush that I had craved all my life in the first place. Such sadistic pain giving such perverse pleasure, and now, even feeling the full extent of hurt and no. Every stereotype of the nurse type seemed alive in her - deep cleavage in a buttoned nurses uniform, even white nylons."We had a pipe break back at home," the receptionist was saying. "I hate to do this, but I've got to run, and Dr. Annul isn't due back until tomorrow, so-" That's OK," Ariana said. "I'm just about to show out Ms. Greenly, then Steve there is out last patient, and. Just lock the door behind you, and I'll set the dead bolt and such after I'm done with Steve."The receptionist cast a look at Steve's direction, probably wondering Steve could be trusted. Steve grinned at her, and she relaxed. "All right," she said. "I owe you one."Ariana looked at Steve. "I'll be with you in just a minute," she said. The receptionist almost flew by him as Steve nodded back at the pretty nurse."No problem," he said. The back of his neck started to sweat. "I'll just sit here and, um-" He picked up a copy of Time. "Read about the Bush administration." He glanced at the cover. "Hey, I didn't.
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