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I went on a couple of first dates with kind, intellectual men with good finances, and followed my old ‘this is my preferred type of partner’-pattern. But somehow the Danny Disaster had changed me, I just didn’t trust as easily, and I didn’t let the first dates become second dates. And I didn’t love. I’m not sure if you can understand what it feels like not to be able to live and love fully, when you’ve been living and loving to your heart’s content all your life. A rather large part of you is suddenly gone. At work and with my friends I was still happy, but there were times when I was alone when everything seemed less shiny, less colorful somehow. It’s as close to a depression I had ever come in my life. I shook it off kind of quickly, and the only lasting result of my temporary blues was that I lost some weight, which meant that I could buy some new clothes, two sizes smaller than before. And honestly – retail therapy really does work! My new, thinner, slightly more cynical, but. The rehearsal wedding was on September First, and so the day before I rented a tux from a place downtown for the occasion. Since I was in town, I decided to head into a bookstore, since I was suffering from a lack of good reading material. I was glancing at a John Irving book when I saw Todd down the aisle. He was arm in arm with some girl with red hair. I almost dropped my book in horror, but then realized what must be going on. Todd had a sister about that girl’s age, and he mentioned before that she had red hair. I sighed and fumble to put my book back on the shelf. I straightened my Jacket and started towards them, waving my hand a little. I guess they didn’t see me, so I was about to call out Todd’s name, when the girl kissed Todd full on the lips. I stopped dead in my tracks, and then ducked behind a staircase to avoid being seen. Todd was cheating on Rachel. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know who that girl was, but I knew it wasn’t his sister. I glanced back down the.
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