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I recognized him; it was Bill, the star running back on the football team. He was naked. I then noticed that there was someone lying on the sofa. It was Melissa, and she was naked too. Bill lay on top of Melissa and soon they were fucking. I did not understand what I was seeing. It was like a dream, not really happening. I could hear only two sounds, that of Melissa moaning, and the sound of Bills balls slapping against her ass. I had dropped my books and was just standing there in disbelief with my hands at my sides. My heart was shattering, pieces flaking away like leaves from a tree in the wind. I never imagined it was possible to feel this way. I was depressed, deflated, and sick to my stomach. Shortly I heard Melissa's voice. She was saying "Oh Billy, oh Billy, oh Billy," louder and louder, then "I love you Billy". I then heard Bill grunt a couple of times and shortly he stood up. Melissa sat up and looked right at me. I just stood there, tears running down my face. I didn't. There was no sign of fight on her part.I should have felt better. I should have felt relieved, possibly even elated. I didn't. I did what I thought was necessary to shock my wife into thinking about us. Our marriage. Our relationship. Our future. I left her no way out. On Friday, I would probably know if we had any future.I thought about who I was and what I wanted. Did I want this marriage to continue? Did I love Edie? I deliberately avoided telling her I loved her. I wasn't sure myself and so it was better not to mislead her if I had lost that love. How would I know? I once read that the test for love was to imagine your life without your partner. Divorce, death, whatever reason ... how would I carry on?Could I get past her deceit those many years ago and forgive her? At first I didn't think so. But now ... now I'm not so certain. She couldn't take it back. She couldn't make it right at this late date. Could I live with that as well? She had to admit to her sin before I could.
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