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It was really just a dress form, one of those wire frame types with just a torso. I would sneak to the bathroom and get an arm-full of dirty clothes out of the hamper and stuff it inside the dress form. I’d put one of my sister’s bras on it and stuff it with socks or tissue and put one of her dirty blouses over it. I’d fashion a vagina out of a toilet paper tube and fill it with shaving cream. I’d stuff the back end with a wad of toilet paper and then put one layer of Kleenex over the entrance and secure it with a rubber band. To top it off I’d draw a life-size set of ample lips on a sheet of paper and then paint them with lipstick I’d liberated from my mother’s collection. I’d pin the paper on a makeshift head of sorts fashioned out of a towel. I did all this elaborate preparation with my parents a few yards away in the front room watching television. Don’t remember why I was routinely going to bed before them as I was old enough to stay up as long as they did. Also, did I. I had not bargained on the ferryman, especially since it turned out that she was a ferrywoman, and a fine and healthy one too. She stood, feet wide apart, the loose-fitting duck trousers tucked into her high boots, her breeches hard against her long legs in a stiff breeze and a man's shirt flapping from her strong-looking arms and stretching across her jutting boobies when I told what I intended to do."And you'll die right there doin' it, you will," she said, her knuckles whitening on the long, thick pole she used to propel her craft in the river's current. "I'll crack yer head wide open, I will." Now, miss," I said, admiring her flashing eyes and firm jaw as well as a pair of prominent nipples and the well-rounded rump on her. "It's the war. We have to stop the enemy." Not wi' my father's ferryboat, y'don't." She put her free fist on her wide hip and showed me her teeth. I would guess she might have gone five-foot-ten in her thick-soled boots and probably weighed in around twelve.
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