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I loved you. I wanted to be pretty like you. I hoped maybe then you'd love me too."Mother's warm smile told me I'd said the right thing. She took me to her bed and sat down beside me. "A girly boy as pretty and sexy as you," she said, "is just made for loving, isn't she, darling? Say it. Say it, dear. Tell me you want to be a girly boy and have lady to come on to you. To hold you and kiss you and hug you and feel you up."As always mother knew exactly what was on my mind. There's nothing I wanted more than to surrender my manhood to a glamorous, full-bosomed, domineering woman and to be held and kissed and hugged and felt up as a girl. This is what I dreamed of night and day. Now mother wanted me to confess it -- to shamefully say it out loud."Yes, mother," I humiliatingly admitted."Yes, what dear?" Yes, I want to dress and act like a pretty girl and have a lady come on to me -- and hold me and kiss me and hug me and feel me up." Is that the way you want to relate to women, dear? Do. Tell me where, an' I'll take ya there." Johnny, that's so sweet of ya. Give me a minute ta cotch my breath an' maybe I kin think of sumpthin' ... I've got it. My ma has a cousin living up north toward Tennessee. I'll bet that she would take me in. It's an awful long way, but I don't know of anyplace else. It must be near 150 miles; oh, I can't ask ya ta go that far!" Shore, ya kin. I ain't got nothin' else ta do what would keep me here. Somebody else kin have the old place ifen he wants it. I shore can't stand ta go back there. I know I kin do it, but kin ya stand 15-20 days of steady walkin'? Our mule wuz killed by the Injuns, so old Andrew can't he'p us." Johnny, we had a mule. If she wasn't killed by the raiders, she could pull our wagon that far. Let's go look."We made our way ta Cindy's house, an' I looked in the barn. By damn, there wuz a live mule in there. She wasn't happy, either. She had water, but she had run out of feed. The first thing I did wus ta shout fer Cindy ta.
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