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" It was just rebound sex on your part," I say."Can't it become true love?"Maria says, "And I thought I was falling in love with you." It was just pretend," I say."Can't it become real?" I need to go," I say. There is nothing I can do or say. I should leave.I drive off but I have to pull over into a parking lot in only a half mile and I cry. The woman soul in my male body is still strong with my emotions. Guys can be so fucking stupid! Why did I do that? I hurt both Katie and Maria.But I'm starting to understand now.I understand how strong a man's sex drive is. I understand that he would have sex with almost every woman if he could. So I can now understand why guys do such seemingly stupid things. It's just who they are. I just never imagined I would make the same mistakes since I am a woman inside. I should know better but male sexuality is so strong.As I do light housekeeping in my apartment I feel much better since I have an understanding of why I do things as Carter. It doesn't. She lived out every moment in her words, in extensive detail — forgetting for whom she was reliving it."Turned ye on did it?" Celes asked with a wink and a laugh. "I reckon it did, from the sight yer clothes are. I never heared of such either 'cept in rare rumors, but suren' I of all people shoulda considered it." Have you ever been with a man?" Danica asked.Celes scowled, "I had my fill of 'em right early." I'm sorry," Danica apologized, seeing pain and anger in the woman's eyes."Nay, it's alright, Dearie. It's a long time ago, an' suren' I've been through worse since. When I was a wee lass, I was playin' at bein' a woman — flirtin' with the boys around the fountain in me town in the evening. I went off into the woods with a young man to steal kisses and pretend — only he wasn't pretendin'. He pounded me but good, near ta tore me in half, an' blacked me eye, an' bloodied me lip, 'cause I was fightin' him so hard, an' wouldn't shut up. He stuffed me underskirt in me mouth ta keep me.
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