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The optimist says the glass is half full.The pessimist says the glass is half empty.The mother of a five-year-old says "Sweetheart it's whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet."The engineer says "Fortunately I put half my water in a redundant glass"The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.The conservative says, "Who stole half my water?"The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air.The politician says that's not my glass, mine was bigger.The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a. He barked at me once. It was that special bark he has, that I just know means “Idiot!” or maybe “Loser!” in dog language.Friday morning, August 24th [Chris]I mentioned my date at the AA meeting on Friday morning and the men wanted to know where I would be. They wanted to be there inconspicuously to make sure I was safe. Trying to imagine just how inconspicuous fifteen older gentlemen could be, following me all over town, I assured them I would be safe. I explained that the man I was going out with was a police officer. When they scoffed at how naive I was being, I told them he was Grandma approved and they decided I would be safe enough, but I had to promise to call Ed if I ended up needing rescuing, so they could all come on the run.To say I was a nervous wreck before James arrived to pick me up that evening is an understatement. I could have been declared a disaster area. Everything I touched either wanted to break, spill or go flying out of my hands. Lady decided to stay as far.
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