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I was nervous about the public as I slipped my heels on. I could walk the walk in women’s shoes but I had some strong features for a woman. I was nervous but I had a few cocktails before I headed out for a test run. I was going to grab a bite to eat and see if I could do it. I had only gone from my car to the adult video store or a hotel room dressed as Stephanie. I was within walking distance from everything since I choose a luxurious hotel in down town San Antonio. I could even see the club from my floor. I swiped my room card up and my hand bag with lube, condoms, cash, and lipstick. I was on my way. I felt everyone was watching me as I walked the length of the upscale lobby. They really were not except for a few who from a distance I feel took me as a woman. I waked down the street to a little Mexican restaurant. I sat and the boy who took my order stared but didn’t say a word other than my small order. I was nervous again but nothing came of it. I think he know I was in drag,. Lucien,” I say with glum having dealt with the heaviness of feeling particularly alone today. I guess it was just one of those days where I felt the darkness more than usual. “Yeah I’d have to agree with you. I’ve been missing that connection with somebody too. It really eats away at you,” Mr. Lucien says with a somber tone while he leans back in his chair staring idly by at his computer. “See I knew you’d understand what I was saying. It just sucks that it….,” I trail off my thought, slapped in the face as my brain finally understands what he so casually threw out there that I almost dismissed it. My head had been down with my jaw resting in the palm of my hands but I quickly, yet discreetly glance up from the floor tiles and see him leaning back with his hands together like he was praying but with his fingers outstretched. I see the shine of his gold wedding band off the fluorescent lighting. I always admired his wedding ring. It was a basic band, modest and old-fashioned. And for.
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