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Parking the car, we tossed our refuse in the trash can. We would sip on our drinks as we took the tour at our own pace. The lot had about half a dozen cars and one RV in it, with a few people fishing at the tip of the island. A light crowd in the middle of a workday, I imagined. ‘What first, the sub or the surface ship?’ ‘The sub looks like it has been restored more than the ship. There are more areas that people shouldn’t be on the ship, so let’s start there.’ I walked up beside the gangplank and looked at the plaque. ‘Destroyer Escort USS Stewart DE-238. Why do Destroyers require escorts?’ ‘They don’t,’ a male voice said from behind us. When we turned, we found an older man in casual clothes on the walk below the gangplank. ‘This class of ship was a Destroyer, made specifically for escorting the larger ships and screening them from danger. I’m Hal Spencer, part of the staff here. Walk through and look her over, and I’ll be happy to answer your questions when you’re done. Just stay. ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to.
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