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I love women. That is obvious. Some of you might say that this is misogynistic. Some might say this is perverted. To all of you that I offended and all of you that I pissed off, I’m truly sorry. This doesn't make anything better. I just call it appreciation, that’s all. That’s not a generalization. In my opinion, the girls who are in that book are complimented, not objectified. I thought if you were in the book, it was a compliment. I knew my role. A lot of girls knew me. I knew the general rule: Look, but don’t touch. Some appreciated it. Some didn’t.My name is David Brisco. I am very well known around here at Wayside. I’m a senior here. I’m eighteen now. I also am the voice of the football team, meaning I introduce the football team and the band at halftime home games. I sing in the choir also. I have seen the list as it grew. Like every male, I have had fantasies involving some of the girls in this book.That’s why I picked them. If you made it, hell, drink it in. Bask in your. Remarkably, they were all proved wrong.My parents were much older than those of my friends, but all my pals loved visiting us. Dad’s self-deprecating humour and my mother’s playful irascibility amused the hell out of them. The perfect example of this fad would best be illustrated by the following anecdote:Due to my father’s never-ending flatulence, he was known to fart rather loudly at times. On an occasion, while my friends were visiting us, my dad let off one of his epic ‘rippers.’“Oh, dear Jesus, Bill, why don’t you go outside and shake yourself,” my mother exclaimed in mock horror. Needless to say, my two pals almost pissed themselves at mom’s ‘outburst,’ and my dad’s impish embarrassment.By the time I had finished college, my dad had retired. Formally, my father had been a formidable barrister and my mother a fervid socialite. My dad’s rapier-sharp wit and my mother’s equally quick-witted retorts were a great inspiration to me when I was growing up, and stood me in good stead.
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