The House Rent Was Paid By Giving Pussy

The sour belly blues and the whooping cough were the main culprits and they were aimed at the youngest amongst us to the disadvantage of the minor children. We had three of the grown women in a family way with no clear idea of which lucky man was the suspected father. In my travels in this somewhat uncivilized time period, I had grown accustomed to the randomness of coital relationships and lack of preventive tools to forestall unwanted pregnancies other than the customary quick withdrawal method to keep the seeds from being planted in fertile ground.We had almost forty wagons and our animals were in fine shape due to the plentiful supplies of free grass and careful tending to keep them in tip-top shape for travel. With the possible exception of the narrow band of steep terrain along the western mountain range, the topography was not detrimental to travel and once over the top, our forward progress was eased by a downward slope that made travel much easier. The smell of smoke was in. God knows I could use help with algebra, so it wasn't a lie. Charlie, you stop smiling!Defense: Did he agree?Miss Diddlins: Charlie is not slow.Defense: So you made some kind of arrangement?Miss Diddlins: My folks are home a lot, so we arranged to meet at Charlie's house, because we would have the house to ourselves, like I told that ugly person over there.Defense: Let the record show that Miss Diddlins is referring to the prosecutor.Prosecution: I object!Judge: And well you may, but it won't do you any good.Defense: So when you went to Charlie's house, what happened?Miss Diddlins: We went up to Charlie's room, so we could be more comfortable. So we were laying on the bed talking...Defense: You both were on the bed already?Miss Diddlins: Well, I jumped on the bed when we got into the room, and Charlie just laid down next to me. The bed was made up with clean sheets, so I think Charlie was planning on being extra hospitable. I admire that in a guy.Defense: Then what happened?Miss.
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