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And if you think about it, THAT is the disease that is giving me fits. Doctors sure as hell don’t have a cure for it. And I guess that’s just it - there isn’t a cure, only a possible explanation. I suspect I’m afraid that the explanation is that, in the end, it’s all meaningless. That’s what I truly fear.”“And the existence of god, in whatever way you want to define that word, gives meaning to your life?”I smiled, “At our wedding we played You’re the Inspiration. You two give meaning to my life. As do my kids. And maybe that’s enough. But I’m not sure. What gave meaning to Birgit’s life? Or Stephie’s?”“Both of them touched your life, and the lives of others,” Kara said. “Perhaps that was the meaning. Perhaps that’s why Stephie and Birgit were here.”“Maybe, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. And I still wonder if that makes up for Stephie’s suffering.”“But she taught you something very valuable,” Jessica said. “How to face your mortality, embrace it, even, without being. I found myself watching her more and more. I was just happy that she was there, so young and fresh and full of life. Inevitably, I wove stories in my head about her life. And inevitably, I created some part to play in that imaginary life.What started as fantasy became more intense. I bought binoculars and watched as the girl prepared her meals, tended her plants and tidied her apartment.When I realised that she was observing me too, I was in a chaos of emotions. Here was reality impinging on fantasy. For a few days, I stayed away from my windows, kept the curtains closed, but it was no use.I longed to see the girl, and I longed for her to see me. To see me in sexy lingerie, or even naked. Now I was dreaming about her and even touching myself as I watched her.The evening that the inevitable happened was almost too much to bear. Our eyes met through our binoculars, and my spontaneous smile was the very first step into the real world that we both occupied.Once I closed the curtain, I.
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