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There were Rottweilers and Alsatians, German Shepards and Labs, Retrievers and Doberman Pinschers. They were black and brown and tan and white and mixed colors in between. I especially liked a large Rottweiler, six years old and suffering from a deformed front paw. He'd been dumped because of the paw, I guessed, picked up wandering the county dump three months ago. Jake and I fell in love, first sight.What a pain in the ass it is adopting a dog from the pound. It was almost impossible. Bureaucratic red tape was nearly as annoying as the intrusive, personal questions they asked--some only this side of offensive--including inquirers about my own personal hygiene, what kind of house I kept, did I have a yard the dog could play in, were their other dogs in the neighborhood or children accused of animal cruelty, and did I understand the responsibilities of keeping a large canine in the house."I understand very well," I said coldly, after my third round of questioning. Why didn't I simply. It will even ruin his party on Saturday. Thursday, when everybody is asleep, we open a couple of windows and drop in a shit ton of rodents, insects or something. We just need to make sure the problem is bad enough that he will not waste his time with traps. We need him to fumigate. Bribing the exterminators will be easy since they don’t get paid enough. Then we could have free rein of the place for three days to a week, depending on what we infected his house with.”“What if he asks a neighbour if they are having problems?”“Then we use rats. What port city doesn’t have rat problems? Leave a paperclip in a basement window and make it look like one of the girls left it there so she could open the window. That would explain how the rats got inside. Throw in a few other rodents, so it isn’t as suspicious.”“Then all we need is a safecracker, somebody that could open almost anything.”“Give us a day to set up the tent, three to fumigate, one to collect all the dead rodents and one to take.
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