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"And you probably all know Stephy Ward," I added. "We're your assistant coaches." I noticed some of the looks that Stephy got and mentally recorded the lookers."Miss Calloway won't be here today. She broke a tooth on the mac and cheese." You've got to love cafeteria food."There are a couple of things you need to know about Stephy. She's a freshman. I know some of you are thinking 'she's only a year older' or 'she's only two years older', but you better understand right now that she IS your coach. If you don't treat her like that, you WILL deal with me or Miss Calloway. Just remember, we need Stephy more than we need any of you." Even me?" Kelly asked coyly."Especially you," I pretended to snap. I knew Kelly wouldn't be a problem and probably would be the captain of this mob."There are advantages," I continued. "Last year, the coaching staff was Miss Calloway, Tami, and me, with zero experience between us. This year, the three of us each have a year of experience and Stephy has about. The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.”I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes were swollen, nose red) ... I can’t see you anymore.I am not going to let you hurt me like this again!Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up.Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.It’s weird being the same age as old people.Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember ... Don’t sing!My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So, I took her.
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