Xjona.com Movie 35

Mine has been a storybook life; until I turned the big 4-0. That's when my thoughts about being with another man began. I'm convinced that men have a "biological clock" as well. When the fourth decade of life is reached, the clock alarms and brings to the forefront thoughts and images of things not yet accomplished in life. I'm a guy's guy; tough and manly. So, when I started having these thoughts, I tried to rationalize them. I love getting oral sex and my wife is terrific at giving. She says she really enjoys it and gets aroused doing it. I rationalized that my thoughts were just my way of trying to understand what my wife was experiencing. Then I started to get jealous of her. I began to think that I was missing out on something and that I deserved to have the same feelings and excitement that had. The dreams were soon to follow. I would find myself dreaming about sucking another man's cock, often waking up with a raging hard-on. The thoughts persisted and soon I was masturbating. I don’t even think I was breathing. This can’t be happening I thought frantically. ‘Jamie, it’s good to see you.’ He said softly ‘Gavin…’ I couldn’t think of anything else to say, I was still in shock. ‘You look really good…’ he cleared his throat nervously before continuing. ‘So…how have you been?’ ‘Fine…’ I was still unable to say much. ‘I-I need to go.’ I said wanting to escape ‘Wait! Jamie, can’t you talk to me for a minute?’ he pleaded. Something about that statement brought me out of my shock. Out of all the memories that I recalled a second ago, there was one that stuck. It was the one of me having my heart ripped out and thrown away like yesterday’s garbage. I remembered all the pain and anguish I felt. I remembered how I tried over and over again to get Gavin to talk to me, and he just ignored me like I was nothing. And now he wants to talk. ‘No, I don’t think so Gavin.’ I stated flatly as I took a step back from him. I noticed a look of hurt cross his face before he hid.
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