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With only my boxers on I ran downstairs to the computer and typed in her password. I looked through her pictures, emails, and her desktop. Just when I was about to give up I decided to check her history, scrolling through her history and finding absolutely nothing until a website I was not familiar with came up. Www.match.com I decided it was worth a look and god damn I was glad I had a look. My hot mother was on a dating site! This was perfect!I sat there as I looked at my mothers dating profile when a insanely risky but good plan. To create a dating profile and contact my mother... I thought about it for ages before finally having the balls to. David ball (my fake name) 40 years old, personal trainer, looking for blonde women. I activated my account then signed out and went upstairs to my iPad and logged in. I messages my mum 'hey there! You're beautiful, my names David and I'm single:( ' I waited and waited before finally hearing the front door open. My mother was home, she said hi. "It prevented me from learning to develop relationships with other people. I could make connections with people, but they were always based on my superiority in the connections. People connected with me for what it gave them and I connected for what it gave me. I had control. I had dominance. They had status by virtue of the connection."It made me pathologically selfish. I saw everything and everyone in terms of what was in it for me. I barely recognized there was another side to the equation. And, to take a page from your ubiquitous math analogies, the equation was always an inequality - Ashley is greater than whomever."It denied me the ability to appreciate almost everything. I had almost everything I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. I could get almost anything I wanted and I never had to make much of an effort for any of it. How could I value anything when it came so effortlessly?"Look at all the work you did for me in high school and it cost me nothing. My grades cost me.
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