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She had tears in her eyes. I heard her say I don't know, I just don't know, and my heart sank. She didn't believe me. It was time for me to leave. I had my ten minutes and more, it was all I could do.I reached across the table and took Karen's hand. Randy sat up and leaned forward. I held up my other hand to him to stop him. I slipped the engagement ring back on her finger."Take me at my word or take it off Karen. I have just one more thing to say. I HAVE NEVER LIED TO YOU. I DON'T LIE. You know that. I explained why to you before, and it's one of the reasons you fell in love with me. I AM NOT LYING NOW. You should have talked to me in person before running off. Call Jerry if you have to." I paused trying to think of anything else that should be said; decided I had said it all."I'm done, Karen. There is nothing left to say and I can't take anymore beatings. I need to go to the ER now; I think my nose is broken. Good bye Karen, I love you."With that I got up and left. My cell phone. " And you didn't tell me about it?" Mom asked, as her voice increased involume."Mom, I told him I was just thirteen and you wouldn't approve of himcalling me." You're certainly right about that, for two reasons, you're too youngand you're a boy." Mom, I'm not a boy." Mark, you are one, as much as you think you're not." That's just it Mom, I'm not a boy, I'm a girl and I want to remain onefor the rest of my life. I want to start puberty as a girl."There I said it. The words I had so feared to say. My real feelings cameout when I spoke before I thought of what I would say. Mom just lookedat me. She didn't look angry, but she had the same look on her face shehad when she was told of my father's accident, the look of panic atlosing the love of your life. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn'tsob, she just starred at me. I never felt so low in my life. I had justbroken my mother's heart.Mom starred for what seemed like hours, until my eyes filled too, mytears ran from my eyes dropping.
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