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”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she said, “Beatles!” she’d get one of their awesome songs.One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.“ASSHOLES!” she yelled... The French National Anthem began to play.Subject: Low oil?Now why didn’t I think of this before now?????A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.Well, there’s a very simple answer.Nobody bothered to check the oil.We just didn’t know we were getting low.The reason for that is. In the mornings I’d always wake up with Monique by my side, I never knew what time she came home or how she got into bed without waking me. I’d make her breakfast, see her off and then….. I’d see her the next morning. It was so painful. Each time she just got hotter and hotter. This was the same, every day, for two weeks. Finally Friday came around again. Lance came by my house in the afternoon. I was anticipating his arrival, I ran out onto the lawn impatiently, ‘So? What did you find out?’ I asked him. Lance looked over at Antonio who was trimming the hedges, ‘Don’t you wanna discuss this inside?’ he asked me. ‘No, no, don’t mind him, he doesn’t speak English. So, what did you find out?’ I asked ‘Bad news pal. She’s cheating on you.’ He said My whole world came crashing down. My eyes watered and I tried ever so hard to keep myself from bursting out into tears. ‘W.. w… well, who is it? I mean, who is the guy?’ I asked in anticipation. Lance looked over at Antonio, ‘Its him.’.
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