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’ I was already running the window up and putting the truck in gear. I stopped for a second to make sure I had my turn signal on and obeying whatever rules of the road my boiling hot brain could remember. I pulled slowly away from the curb and the cruiser pulled out after me and followed me down the street for a couple of blocks before he peeled off and disappeared. Just another lovely fuckin’ day in my perfect fuckin’ life. Chapter Two: Shit Happens I haven’t always been like this, you know. I used to be a nice guy. I had a nice job and a nice house in the suburbs and a nice wife and two nice kids and two nice cars, all that perfect family shit. I worked in the ‘Big Smoke’, aka Toronto. I had a pretty good office with a window that had a partial view of the lake and a private parking spot. I worked for Primexal, a national electrical hardware manufacturer and I was Product Development Manager. It was decent job that usually required us to find new developments at our competitors and. ”“Christ!” he groaned.“And another thing. What do you eat for breakfast?”He blushed at that. “An Egg McMuffin.”“Christ, that shit will kill you, Clyde, even if the Army doesn’t! No more of that shit! Stop at the store on the way home and buy some apples. That’s your breakfast tomorrow morning.”He just groaned at this. I clapped him on the shoulder. “You do this, Clyde, basic’s going to be a piece of cake. Or don’t and go figure out something else to do next year. It’s your decision. Make the right one.”Clyde took off. Speed looked over at me from his locker. “That boy’s the Pillsbury Doughboy! You ain’t never going to get him in shape.”I shrugged. “I ain’t the one who’s going to get him into shape. If he does this, he’ll be the one to get himself into shape.”“Man, you are crazy! You got as much a chance of whittling him down as you do of catching a pass!”“Fuck you, Speed! Fuck you!” I laughed.“No! Fuck you, Stonehands!”We argued and tussled a bit until Coach told us to knock it off.
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