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I'm sorry, Tom, it was a stupid thing to say. I wish I'd had a shot at him, though."She looked at Sue Ellen, Gloria and two other girls. "The rest of you, let me have some time with Tom." The cheerleaders promptly filed out."I'm sorry about the other night," Janey told me."You don't have anything to apologize for." Oh," Janey murmured, "Sue Ellen had some words for me about leaving early. I had to think; life's been a bitch lately, and that's no shit."I nodded. "Yeah!" We traded looks of mutual understanding."I don't think I'll ever be with a guy, not even going down on them any more." She waved at my midsection. "But if I do, he's going to have a hell of an act to follow, Tom." I just try to do the best I can," I told her. "That, and since I didn't perform at all, I'll be easy to beat." All these years, I never gave a shit, never thought about other people. I thought everyone was like me, just wanting to have fun. Now I don't even have Sue Ellen." Janey grimaced. "She and Tony are. Even with Viagra it was hit or miss. Only one out of three of those little blue pills seemed to work and even then sometimes they would last for a while and sometimes they wouldn't last long at all.And I wanted to fuck all the time!I didn't do it when Bobby was at home because I didn't want to make him feel any worse than he already did, but I was using my fingers, a small collection of dildos and even a summer sausage almost every day in an effort to get myself off. I was constantly horny and I must have been giving off a scent because it seemed like men and boys were swarming around me. Guys at work had been hitting on me for years, but before it had all been kind of good-natured. Then it seemed that they were getting more insistent, almost like sharks that smelled blood in the water. When the paperboy knocked on the door to collect the hunger in his eyes told me that he would take me on the floor just inside the door if I gave him half a chance. What's worse is that I wanted to.
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