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) You've got someone who can't tie her own shoelaces, she can only tie other people's. So she figures, "I'll tie someone else's shoelaces, in the hopes that they'll tie mine." And so she does. Sometimes it even works.But for two, it's a response to those feelings of worthlessness. We see ourselves as worthless, but maybe we can find some value in someone else's eyes. And, besides—if we can't love somebody, if we can't help somebody, if we can't make their lives somehow better... What worth do we have at all?So, in the end, it wasn't really concern for myself that swayed my heart. It was compassion. It was concern for my sister. My sister the bitch; my sister the callous. My sister, the suffering. Trina.I guess Brandon understood the look on my face. "You're going to do it." I have to," I said.He smiled at me, and squeezed my hand."But not here," I said. "Not now."I wasn't sure if he'd approve of that or not. I'm still not sure if he did. But he at least accepted it. "So, then, you. You might have a dozen couples move in and out of a room, but as long as it is clean, no one will know. The hotel room has its dim, subdued lighting that makes you want to sit closer to each other, making it nearly as good as a candlelit dinner. There are the pristine white sheets, with the slight mustard or brown blankets that make you want to snuggle up when the too-powerful AC blasts away. The small TV in the corner that you can leave on to cover up any loud moans you make. The shower that washes away the scent of sex from your body. The lift in which you can grab, kiss and cop a feel for the last time.And in the December of 2010, I was sitting in a hotel room in Goa thinking about these things while being impossibly alone and single. My girlfriend of two years had dumped me because she was going abroad to study and I wasn’t, and had left me broken hearted. My family had a laugh at my expense. I was alone, and thankfully two of my friends, Rishkesh and Sushant decided to drag my.
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