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We’ve found a working equilibrium. Whatever I might have messed up there in the past is irrelevant. What matters now is the present and the future. Going back and apologizing to most of those girls would only rip open the wounds you believe I’ve made. I probably agree with you on quite a few, including you. The ones I hurt the worst, I’ve apologized to, INCLUDING you. Short of throwing myself off the outdoor observation deck of the World Trade Center in New York, I’m not sure what I could do. And even THAT would hurt all those girls. Joyce, what is it you WANT from me?”“This can never, ever be repeated. Do you hear me?”“If you can’t trust ME to keep «omertà», I’m not sure who you can trust.”Joyce smiled, a real smile, for the first time since we’d started talking, “True. If I could do anything, it would be to rewind the clock to mid-June of 1977.”“The day we met right outside? By the pool?”“You remember?”“Of course I do! You were fifteen, I was fourteen. Birgit had just gone home to. We continued to stay away from those activities and decided that if the conditions were right we might give sharing another try.You notice that I always refer to the activity as sharing. We didn't consider ourselves to be swingers. Suk and I defined swinging as a high production fucking of another's wife or husband. There was little friendship, but rather the exploitation of each other's sex organs. That just wasn't us. Any one that we shared each other with was truly a friend and the sex between us seemed much more rewarding, the orgasms more intense. There was no love between the couples, but there were strong friendships among us. Finding the right sharing partners was not easy. We both had to approve and trust the other couple, it was not only a physical acceptance but there was a huge issue of trust. Not just for our spouses but for their partners as well.I had known Harry and Madeline from high school. There I knew them as brother and sister. My sister and I often double dated.
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