MAAMI

I wanted to bebeautiful, to be loved, to be taken. That moment triggered a feelingand desire in me I would never get rid of.So now, fast forward to say 10 years later. I'd had my share of sexualexperiences, all of them as the "man", all hetero. Even though secretlyI would fantasize that while I was receiving a blowjob, I wanted to beable to do that to her. While I was forcing myself inside her, I wantedto be the one on my knees. I had continued dressing in secret,venturing out once or twice late at night when no one was around todiscover me. I eventually did settle down with a woman, and soon wewere married. I had told her of my "dressing" but had given it up, andit was not something I wasn't interested in anymore. In truth, I hadgiven it up, going through the typical purge I'm sure many of you havegone through. But the truth is, within a year I was back, sneakingpanties, dressing when alone, even searching out other "girls" to haverendezvous with. I was able to keep it out of site. Ji, “It’s so weird.”“So, I have to ask,” said Melissa, “why ask us for a ride? Someone else could have given you a lift.”“Well, to be honest, partially to piss off T’wana. I’m tired of her riding me. But mostly because I just wanted out right now, not after the game was over.”“About what?” I asked.“Huh?”“What is she giving you grief about?”“You three really. She knows something happened at the party with Xinyi but no one is saying what so she’s been like a bitch with a bone.”“So,” I had to ask, “What did you tell Xinyi and Grace, at the party?”“I lied. I told them you had a hidden security camera over the door in the kitchen and once I said that Xinyi admitted everything. She fessed up and said it was exactly like you said.”“Uh, good to know,” offered Melissa.“Well, I had to say something and I didn’t want to share your ... uh, details.”“Thank you,” I said.“I did have to tell, the Xinyi part, to my mom. She wanted to know why Xinyi wasn’t on the team right away.”“She gave me some.
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